Jennifer: We should do something random during the mid-semester break (concentrating on the nfs: hot pursuit game. She was playing against Jerry. They had just skipped class and gone to Jerry’s.
Jerry: And do what?
Maxine: Let’s go out in the wild. Camping. (she had cut her class too)
Jerry: Camping. really?!?
Maxine: Yeah. why not?
Jerry: Well then where?
Maxine: I dont know. Google a camping site around. There was this place we used to go back in high school when i was in President’s Award Club.
Jerry: not really helped.
Jennifer: Barbecue.
Maxine: Now that’s a plan.
Jerry: Where?
Maxine: Dude! 21 questions ni za nini?! ebu chuck some ideas.
Jerry: Fine. How about we have that barbecue in Kenya National Park. Dont they have some sites set up for this kind of thing.
Maxine: Now you’re talking! We could invite like fifteen guys, chuck some cash for stuff like food. I would prefer it if we had our own rides as well. It would make commuting easier.
Jerry: Plus its more convenient if other plot pops up after or it’s too late and dark.
Jennifer: So we need cash for fuel too. I could work on a budget.
Jerry: Then work on it fast so we get guys to chuck cash early. It’s only a month and a half away. Plus, exam week, guys will be so stressed and you know some who lean on retail therapy (looking pointedly at Maxine) not naming any names.
Maxine: What!? I do not spend that much!
Jennifer: (agreeing sarcastically) No…you do not.
Maxine: Really! Then fine. Work that budget out asap guys chuck cash early.
Maxine, Jennifer, Alexandra, Sandra in Maxine’s Rav 4 singing along loudly ‘L-O-V-E is just another word i never learnt to pronounce. Tight jeans, Double D’s . Maxine at the steering. They then heard a loud booming sound from a distance. Turning back, they saw Jerry on Range Rover wheels. Inside were Daniel, Dennis and Raymond. Their system was blaring Red Cafe’s ‘Hottest in the Hood’. Close behind was Bill driving a navy blue BMW 318 with Jack, Fred and Chris inside. Darlton was to come with his girlfriend Tina and her friend Irene. Jerry overtook and was now leading the pack. They then all stopped and parked outside the gate, standing beside the cars to wait for Darlton.
Bill: (turning to his brother, Jerry) Dude. Where is your boy? We are gonna get late.
Jerry: He said he is like fifteen minutes away. It’s the traffic.
Jack: And those mamas he is coming with?
Jerry: There are just two, one of whom is his chiq.
Maxine: Si we just go. They will find us in.
Jerry: Its a specific camping site and Darlton cant kumbuka where it is on his own.
They waited for half an hour before Darlton and the girls had arrived.
Maxine: African tymers.
Tina: There was mad traffic.
Irene: Yeah. Damn that traffic.
Maxine: Uko sure si juu mlikuwa mbele ya mirror kitu four hours (in a lower voice) and you still look like that.
Irene: (picking her nails, in a high-pitched voice) What?
Maxine: So blonde (to herself)
Alex nudged Maxine to stop being mean. Maxine returned a ‘what’ shrug.
Bill: Okay. let’s check in Everyone with national I.D or passport.
The rest scruffing through their bags, purses and wallets and handed the identifications to Bill. ‘Cash?!
Jennifer: Si it sh. 300.
Bill: Yeah.
After collecting the cash he went to the front desk reception to pay. Ten minutes later, he was done.
‘Lets part’ey! In the cars!’ Everyone got into their respective cars and they drove in. After fifteen minutes of driving, they were deep inside staring at the dry grasslands. Couple of giraffes close by.
Darlton: (on the phone with Bill who was leading the pack) So where is this site?
Bill: Five minutes away.
They continued driving in a line following Bill till they finally reached a beautiful site located on higher ground allowing it to overlook most of the National park with its wildlife. Unfortunately, the grill was broken and they had to set out and look for another. They got back into their cars. This time, Jerry was leading. They drove back to the junction near the reception and changed routes. Driving into the grassland, speeding. People were peeking out of their cars through the windows feeling the breeze. Even Bill was driving, holding the steering wheel by one arm, his window down, got himself sitting on the door and started controlling the steering with his leg, his arms in the air.
Alexandra: (out the window, sitting on the door, arms in the air) Woohoo!!
Then came the song ‘bumpy ride’ on Maxine’s stereo and she put it on full blast. The girls were busy mumbling the lyrics and shouting through the chorus. After another fifteen minutes of joyriding, THey finally reached an area with three sites, about 100m apart. Two were already taken up, one by a seemingly american family of six and the other, by a group of men. They then agreed to take the third one positioned central from the other two.
Alexandra: Whoa. Check out that men’s group.
Maxine: (reversing to park the car) Oh come on. Everyone to you (looking at the group of guys while switching off the ignition) Whoa! That dude just totally kissed the fat guy in a red tee. Gross!!! Neat suit by the way.
Alex: The purple one. I know right!! And check out the skinny dude.
Mad psyke. Jumping around the barbecue. Those are like what, twenty dudes.
Jerry: Yo guys (through Alexandra’s window) out of the car. Remember we have a fire to light. And you guys are making the kachumbari (noticing the girls focussed on the group of guys) What the ..! Did that skinny dude in a navy blue t-shirt just grab the white dude holding that fork by the fire? And hey … is that a dude’s only convention. (turning to Bill and the rest and whispering) . Guys. Sausage fest!
Fred: Warr?!!
Maxine: I know! And the way that dude with a ghostbusters’ tee is hawt! What a waste.
Alexandra: Not for their partners they arent.
Jerry: (girlishly, punning) Ewww!!
They all got out of their cars and rounded the barbecue site. Realizing it was also partially broken, they decided to take the meshed wire and make a three-stone fire on the ground. They started looking for pieces of wood and newspapers. Fred got the gasoline from the car. They then lit the newspaper which just burnt up. Before they realized they were doing zero-work, three-quarters the jerrican of gasoline was already used up. They started lighting the wood again blowing the smaller pieces using a sufuria cover to catch fire. Jack poured some of his liquor on the fire igniting it. Soon they had a stable flame. They then placed the wire mesh on the fire held by the large stones around it.
Jerry: Sa hiyo ndiyo mlikuwa mnashindwa?
Dennis: Fala. Ulitusaidia?
Dan: Now where the meat at?
Jerry: Madem.
Maxine: Kwenda unaona mboch wako hapa?
Sandra got the vegetables for the kachumbari from the car. Jack, Fred and their other friend Chris went to the car to get weed blunts. They opened their car doors and blasted music on their stereo. Tina and Irene got the cooler from the boot and started mixing drinks for the rest. At around three p.m, their fire was lit and they were around it singing and dancing and chatting while their meat roasted. The ‘white’ family were clearing the site preparing to leave. As for the gay community, they seemed to have been through with their eating. Now all they were doing was chatting while chilling listening to dance music off one of the car stereos. Tina and Irene were caught staring and asked to go over. They were then given some left-over well-marinated meat. They said the dudes were so polite, some seemed bitchy. One was grinding against a tree to the music. Talk about sheer gayness. At around six p.m, the whole gay community had left, leaving Jerry and group as the only ones at the site. Fred, Jack and Chris were totally wasted and fooling around.
Jack: (to Fred) why didnt you leave with your friends?
Chris: Faggots
Fred: (uttering slowly) Fuck you.
Fred then stared in mid-air and seemingly counting something.
Alexandra, Maxine and Raymond had ganged up against Jerry, Sandra and Jennifer to hate on their university.
Alexandra: Nyi mkipewa suspension mnaweza panda giraffe mvuke border ya Tz ka short holiday.
Raymond: Jerry ile siku nilicome kuwavisit, nishow tu ukweli. Hiyo ni nyama ya nini ulinipikia?
Maxine: Ya donkey
Alexandra: Ai no. Donkeys are sacred to them. Labda antelopes.
Jennifer: Sawa tu. Endeleni kuhate na sisi ndiyo tunatoa graduates wanoma.
Alexandra: In what fields exactly? labda theology. with that sun, unahallucinate hadi unabelieve ni visions.
Sandra: We got lotsa journalists.
Alexandra: And you know what they say on journalist’s credibilty.
Raymond: Na si Jerry umenyamaza. Ama ni network umepoteza? Do you need to stand on a tree like you do in school.
Alexandra: Enyewe. Mazoea.
Jerry: Raymond unaongea na unajua rep ya madem wa chuo yenu where the left leg never meets the right.
Raymond: Hao ni madem
Jerry: Alex, nyinyi ndiyo mmejaza K-street.
Alexandra: Low blow.
Maxine: (nudging Jerry) check out Denno.
Dennis was stoned beyond words, pun intended. He was sitting on a stone, gazing, in mid-air, quiet and alone. It was clear he was in his own little heaven. Maxine took photos with her digital camera. Darlton, who had taken a nap in the car, woke up and joined Jerry and the rest. He now seemed quite hyper, beer bottle in his hand. Tina and Irene followed him to the rest.
Jerry: Nice. Tina and Irene mmecome. ebu support.
These guys be hatin on our school.
At around seven, darkness was setting in and they decided it best to leave. It took them another whole hour to clear up and agree on what next. Bill, Jack, Fred and Chris were going back to Bill’s for drinks. Alexandra, who was still sober was to drive them. Tina and Irene were going home, Darlton awake and partially sobered up was their designated driver home. All the rest were going out, pulling an all-nighter. Maxine and Jerry were driving the other two cars as earlier before. They all then left the park.
